Neil's amazing brain adventure

Space Cadet, 30/06/2000

It is said that people use only a small fraction of their brain. If you ever wondered how to utilise the remaining chunk, visit Neil Slade's Amazing Brain Adventure.

Neil Slade is the prodigy of a late brain pioneer, T.D.A. Lingo of the Dormant Brain Laboratory in Colorado. Lingo discovered a method by which any person can easily turn on their own "super intelligence, genius creativity, and pre-existing brain pleasure circuits." And Neil sells the method. His book, "The Frontal Lobes Supercharge," can be ordered on the web site for just $13.95.

The trick is to" pop" the frontal lobes of your brain by clicking your amygdala forward. If you failed neuropathology at school, this is a tiny almond-shaped chunk in the middle of your brain. Neil provides an experiment for the uninitiated, tempting us with a taste of his brilliance. First, go and smell something bad. Done it? Smells bad, doesn't it? That's your amygdala clicking backwards. Now smell something nice. Done that? It smells nice, doesn't it? You've just clicked your amygdala forward. Sheer genius.

By constantly clicking your happy switch (aka popping your frontal lobes), you get continuous creative intelligence and pleasure. Frustration, anger, fear, pain no more. And once you pop, you just can't stop, so to speak: it's permanent. Personally, I've never taken acid, but the sales pitch sounds similar. Yet Neil assures me that this is nothing like using drugs. The testimonials from his happy customers suggest otherwise:-

• "Neil - I did the feather tickling while you were on air and ALL night I saw colors, dreams, warmth, etc - as you said!" - A listener to Neil's radio show.
• Another listener: "I have seen two UFO's, one in broad daylight above the nationallyfamous Cherry Creek Shopping Mall"
• "I have just spent the last 3 hours doing AMAZING WORK!!! It's the best I've done EVER!!! My Dad came out and I jumped up giggling and grinning from ear to ear and showed him. At first glance he said, "Whoa!! Something has supercharged your creativity 1400%! What is it??!!" Then I held up your book! heehehehe!! He WASN'T surprised. AHAHAAH! LIFE IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! Now my Dad turned on the radio real loud because he says that was a good way to wake up and he wants to party!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Lori

My favourite part of Neil's site recounts the true story of Mike the Wonder Chicken from the 1940s, given as an example of how much brain we use for our repetitive lives.

Mike was a young rooster, pecking his way around a farmyard in Colorado. One evening, Farmer Olsen had an appetite for Roast Mike and chopped off the little critter's head. In typical chicken fashion, Mike staggered momentarily following his decapitation. But to Farmer Olsen's amazement, Mike then resumed his farmyard activities with the other chickens, determined not to let his disability interfere with his life.

For four and a half years, Mike became the big ticket in a travelling show (also starring a two headed calf as the warm-up act). He even appeared in Life and Time magazines. According to the story, Mike's fame faded after he finally died from choking on a corn kernal.

I'm eagerly awaiting my copy of Neil's book. I'm sure you want one too. As you explore the web site, download and listen to Neil's music, inspired by his creative genius and super-intelligence (compromised - just a tad - by his decision to play it on a small child's keyboard).